Village Life 87

I don't mean to harp on.... well, actually I do...but when will people driving lorries, enormous great monster lorries used for lugging stone from quarries, stop using their mobile phones? Especially when driving towards me!



Every day I have to drive somewhere. It may be to take the children to their nursery school on the other side of the village, it may be to take the professor to Coina train station which is on the other side of picturesque (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA) Quinta do Conde, it may be to go shopping or to go to the beach. But, wherever I'm going, I meet IDIOTS in cars in plentiful supply... and quite frankly, I think it's rather off of them NOT to have read Vitriolica Webb's Ite, to realise the error of their ways and rectify their driving habits. This morning I was almost driven OVER by this bastard in his enormous bastard truck because he was on his phone. I then sat waiting to turn out of a junction right next to this man who was SO enormously and morbidly obese that he couldn't even turn his head to see what was coming. He seemed to have to rest his arms on his man-boobs to get at the steering wheel and had only squinting room between his cheeks and his eyelids. I don't care if you're morbidly obese, but if you can't see where you're going, don't drive on the same roads as me, you maniacal fatty.



Then there are the either extremely brave or extremely blind ageing cyclists on their ancient bicycles who don't believe in straight lines:



the multitude of Piaggio APEs that abound outside the cities that drive in the gutter, half because they're letting people overtake, half because they're stuck in the gutter because they've got the enormous wife strapped to the back:


(and I still want one... if we ALL had APEs, no-one could drive too fast)

and those strange aixam mini car things that seem to be the next step up from the APE... you can fit a couple more goats in the back and are just as slow:



and everyone else drives too fast. Oh, the glorious roads of Portugal.

(you may recognise the three last drawings from the early days of the Webb's Ite, you're not just seeing double, I just can't be arsed to draw cars, bicycles and apes more often than once a year, I'm a girl!)