Now, COME ON.

The tension is building.

Day by day I feel myself getting closer to erupting, the summer ever nearer, bearing down on me.

I don't know how much longer I can bottle it up.

I don't know if I'll be able to keep my gob shut this year.

I think I'm going to exp........


YOU WILL NOT DIE IF YOU GO IN THE WATER AFTER EATING, EVEN IF IT HAS BEEN LESS THAN AN HOUR. NOR WILL YOU DIE FROM HALTED DIGESTION. NOR WILL YOU BE SICK IF YOU WET YOUR HEAD AFTER LUNCH. Addendum: Ms. Beverly Trayner reminds me of my lapse here: YOU WILL NOT DIE IF YOU TAKE A SHOWER/BATH AFTER EATING. NO. NOT AT ALL.

Unfortunately, by virtue of your reading this blog, you are a sensible and intelligent being and hopefully you don't need to be told this.

Unfortunately this blog is not QUITE as popular as I think it should be (ie. I believe EVERY citizen of Portugual should be reading it by now and at least half of the rest of the world where there is electricity, even the old lady next door who doesn't know what a computer is, let alone a blog) and so this message will go unheard amongst the people of this land who will still tell my children and me this year on the beach that we will die instantly if we even THINK about water after eating.

We do not live in the dark ages. We understand the human body a bit... we aren't all humours and spirits. We should understand at least a LITTLE physiology after the education we are all entitled to (listen, when you're digesting a big lunch, much of your blood system is being put to work in your insides, therefore, less oxygenated blood reaches your limbs. So, if you've eaten a big lunch and then want to go for a hearty, heavy swim, you are at a slightly heightened risk of drowning because you may not maintain your strength in the water OR because you might get cramp and you may sink....but eating a sandwich doesn't mean the kids can't bloody well go and paddle or granny can't put her feet in a bucket, or I can't have a little swim in the swimming pool).

And while we're at it (and yes, I've said it before and I'll say it again and again and again until they drag me kicking and screaming out of the blogosp-here), you CAN'T get a cold from getting rained on or walking with bare feet (at any time of the year).

GODDIT? GEDDIT!

STAND UP TO THE OLD WIVES AND THEIR TALES THIS SUMMER AND JUST SAY "NONSENSE, mother/ mother-in-law/granny/busy-body-next-to-me-on-the-beach (delete where applicable)! I'M GOING IN!"


I have spoken.


(and now that you've been told, I've posted Julie Oakley's very funny illo for chapter 15, thanks Julie)


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